Oh, yes. Procrastination is an art.
It's rather difficult to do correctly.
Procrastination, put simply, is the act of putting things off until the last minute. One common instance of this is teenagers not doing their homework until the last minute. Usually, procrastinating includes distractions of some kind, such as books, movies, music, cell phones, or Facebook. A person will start to do his or her task, get distracted or just choose to do something else, and be face with a huge deadline. That is, they will find themselves with two minutes to create a Sistine Chapel.
Successful procrastinators will have no problem with this. I should know- procrastinating has always worked wonderfully for me. Here is a sort of schedule for a successful procrastinator, supposing that she gets home at 4 p.m. and her bedtime is 9 p.m.
4:oo- Eat a snack and watch TV.
4:20- Talk about starting homework soon while really continuing to watch TV.
4:45- Get up and go to wherever homework is done; start slowly unpacking needed materials
5:00- Sneak back to the living room to find out why everybody's laughing at the TV.
5:02- Make an excuse to the parents and run back to the homework area.
5:03- Discover friends are online. Instant message three or four at a time with textbook open.
5:37- Text a few friends to ask questions.
5:40- Arrange your flair on Facebook.
5:50- Write on some people's Facebook walls.
5:59- Do a couple easy homework problems so it won't look like you've done nothing all evening.
6:04- Instant-message different friends.
6:30- Eat a lengthy dinner and converse merrily with your family.
7:15- Start writing a novel.
7:38- Get out your iPod because it'll help you "concentrate."
8:00- Start wondering whether you'll have enough time to finish your homework.
8:25- Start working hard and heavy, regretting all that procrastination.
8:45- Start freaking out because you have so much left to do.
8:50- Scream at your computer because it won't pull up pictures fast enough.
8:51- Print out some pictures.
8:52- Glue pictures onto posterboard. Hurriedly do a few math problems in between.
8:54- Suddenly remember you had French homework. Conjugate three verbs and give up.
8:56- Where did those Sharpies go?
8:57-Use Sharpies to make poster colorful.
8:58-Make mental list of what isn't finished.
8:59- Do a few more math problems.
9:00- Go to bed.
7:15 A.M.- Finish math homework on the bus.
7:45- Finish French homework sitting in front of your locker.
8:15- Go to class and turn in all your completed homework.
Whew. Things get pretty stressful when you procrastinate.
I wouldn't recommend procrastinating to anyone, really. Hours of laziness paid for with brief moments of intense stress... Not really worth it.
The thing is, procrastinating is habit-forming. It's hard to break that habit.
The only good thing that comes out of procrastination, I would say, is the ability to do things well at the last minute. That's a nice skill to have. But things don't always turn out right, unfortunately, which really bites.
Oh, procrastination is an art. A difficult art. A fickle art. A regret-causing art.
Love her. Fear her.
I remain, gentlebloggers, your obedient servant,
Commodore Scribbles
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Bad Technology.
The one irritating thing about technology is that sometimes it DOESN'T WORK.
Which is irritating.
I am an artist. I know enough about technology to keep my laptop running. Usually. Although... my laptop is: 1) Asthmatic. 2) Slow. 3) Extremely vulnerable to viruses. 4) Ornery.
My laptop has a mind of its own. For one thing, I like to shut it at night, which puts it into hibernation. But it doesn't really like to wake up from hibernation. Another thing: It thinks all the videos I watch are stupid, so it lags and drags and pretty much doesn't let me watch them. And also, it hates PDF files, which means I have a hard time pulling up my online textbooks.
I think my laptop hates French, too. Because usually when it shuts down unexpectedly, it saves all the documents I have open with its funky little Microsoft Word AutoRecover thing. However, it chose to delete most of the VERY IMPORTANT documents I needed for my most recent French project, leaving me to spend an hour and a half re-typing.
And then there are times when it just doesn't work. That's when I call my dad. Because he, unlike myself, is a Man of Technology. Meaning this:
Laptop: **cackles evilly**
Dad: **clicks a few buttons**
Laptop: ...ouch.
Dads are great. Technology is also great. But only if you have a dad to fix it for you.
I remain, gentlebloggers, your obedient servant,
Commodore Scribbles
Which is irritating.
I am an artist. I know enough about technology to keep my laptop running. Usually. Although... my laptop is: 1) Asthmatic. 2) Slow. 3) Extremely vulnerable to viruses. 4) Ornery.
My laptop has a mind of its own. For one thing, I like to shut it at night, which puts it into hibernation. But it doesn't really like to wake up from hibernation. Another thing: It thinks all the videos I watch are stupid, so it lags and drags and pretty much doesn't let me watch them. And also, it hates PDF files, which means I have a hard time pulling up my online textbooks.
I think my laptop hates French, too. Because usually when it shuts down unexpectedly, it saves all the documents I have open with its funky little Microsoft Word AutoRecover thing. However, it chose to delete most of the VERY IMPORTANT documents I needed for my most recent French project, leaving me to spend an hour and a half re-typing.
And then there are times when it just doesn't work. That's when I call my dad. Because he, unlike myself, is a Man of Technology. Meaning this:
Laptop: **cackles evilly**
Dad: **clicks a few buttons**
Laptop: ...ouch.
Dads are great. Technology is also great. But only if you have a dad to fix it for you.
I remain, gentlebloggers, your obedient servant,
Commodore Scribbles
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Shut Up and March!
There are few people in the world who truly understand the art of marching band. That's okay. That's why I'm here- to explain.
Most marching bands follow the same general format:
-Director(s) to shout, threaten, and make people run laps
-Drum major(s) to conduct, criticize, contradict, and be awesome (Funnily enough, they don't actually play the drums most of the time)
-A band to be abused and follow orders
Obviously, the purpose of a marching band is to march. And play. At the same time. I've heard some people claim that this is easy.
IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
Sometimes, it's downright hard. But that's okay- we like challenges.
A marching band has all the instruments a regular concert band would have:
You've got your woodwinds, which is basically the group of instruments that are made of wood or have some wood part on them and you blow into them. Except you really don't want to take wood instruments out on the field... they deteriorate quite quickly. And reeds tend to break when you toss your saxes and clarinets around all the time. And double-reed instruments? Sorry, bassoons and oboes. You're not allowed. How about you learn a new instrument? And... wait a minute, where do flutes fit into this all? There's not a piece of wood on them! That goes for piccolos, too. But don't insult the piccolos- they could easily make you deaf.
There's the brass section, which includes all the instruments made out of- you guessed it, brass. Just a note: Saxophones, although shiny and metal-y like trumpets and tubas, are not actually brass instruments. Why not, you say? They've got teeny little pieces of wood called reeds. That's enough to stick them in with the woodwinds. Because tubas are so hard to carry around, they invented a special kind of tuba called the Sousaphone (you know, like John Phillips Sousa? Google him.) . You know what a Sousaphone is- it's that tuba that wraps around you and looks ridiculous. You probably don't know what a euphonium is, though. A euphonium, also called a baritone, is basically a teeny tuba. Although it's not all that teeny, and it does get heavy because you have to hold it like a trumpet. Ever tried to march a French horn? They're kind of weird, what with all that brass spaghetti in the center. That's why they invented the mellophone, which is basically a French horn twisted up in a different way to be more portable. They don't cut anyone any slack.
There's the percussion section (drums and other things you beat with sticks), which, in the lovely world of marching band, is split into two sections.
1) Drumline. Ever seen that movie? Yeah. Basically the most portable percussions- snares, cymbals, bass drums... Oh, yes. Bass drums (the huge ones) are portable. You just get some shoulder straps and- BOOM. Portable bass. Just don't fall over. The drumline is generally extremely loud, and it sometimes hacks off the rest of the band because they have to play louder to be heard.
2) Pit. Ever tried to march with a xylophone? They get pretty big, and even with wheels, they don't move easily. Hence the traffic jam when the percussion tries to move those things through doors. Basically, anything that's too big or too hard to march with gets lined up on the sidelines and played there. This can include xylophones, marimbas, string basses, and sometimes pianos.
The marching band season (which is pretty much just football season in disguise) usually starts before the actual school year- that's right, during summer vacation. That's when band camp happens. Band camp is a good time to teach the rookies how to march. It's also a good time to un-lazy the veterans and remind them how to march.
Bands march using the football field's yard lines and hashes as guides. The yard lines are fifteen feet apart, and there are two hashes on each line, cutting them into three pieces. Band members must magically know how big of a step to take to get to each position without looking at any of the painted lines. There's a way to do this: it's called weeks and weeks of repetitive practice.
And what about those uniforms? I think that's one of the biggest reasons band geeks get picked on. Truthfully, they can look nerdy sometimes. But uniforms are big deals. Band kids learn to be very, very careful with them because there's a team of elite band moms who will come down on them if they don't. The Uniform Committee doesn't like it when the uniforms get dirty or ripped up. They often don't let the kids touch the plumes that go in their hats. (Plumes are feathers, by the way.) They're scary. The uniforms themselves vary from band to band, but usually consist of shoes, pants, jackets, gloves, and hats of some kind. Drum majors can get special uniforms because they're special. But aren't we all?
Marching bands are good for all kinds of things! Like halftime! And parades! And pep rallies! And competitions! And showing off! And getting out of gym! And... probably for taking over the world.
Oh, and for learning discipline, too. Before learning to march, one must learn to stand completely still without moving at all. This is called standing at attention. That means chins slightly raised; shoulders back, down, and relaxed; elbows bent slightly (just slightly! no chicken wings!); feet together, and knees bent ever so slightly, just enough so that they don't lock. Oh, that brings me to a good point:
DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES.
If you lock your knees, your blood won't be able to get through them, and 9 times out of 10 you'll pass out.
DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES. DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES. DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES!
Another common band position is horns up- that's just when the band puts their instruments up to their faces so they can play.
There is no talking or moving allowed in either of these positions. Your head itches? Too bad. There's a spider crawling up your leg? Hope it's not poisonous. You've really got to pee? Hold it. And do. not. talk. That will bring the wrath of the drum majors and directors down on you.
So, that's marching band in a rather large nutshell! Go cheer for your high school marching band at the next game!
I remain, gentlebloggers, your obedient servant,
Commodore Scribbles
Most marching bands follow the same general format:
-Director(s) to shout, threaten, and make people run laps
-Drum major(s) to conduct, criticize, contradict, and be awesome (Funnily enough, they don't actually play the drums most of the time)
-A band to be abused and follow orders
Obviously, the purpose of a marching band is to march. And play. At the same time. I've heard some people claim that this is easy.
IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
Sometimes, it's downright hard. But that's okay- we like challenges.
A marching band has all the instruments a regular concert band would have:
You've got your woodwinds, which is basically the group of instruments that are made of wood or have some wood part on them and you blow into them. Except you really don't want to take wood instruments out on the field... they deteriorate quite quickly. And reeds tend to break when you toss your saxes and clarinets around all the time. And double-reed instruments? Sorry, bassoons and oboes. You're not allowed. How about you learn a new instrument? And... wait a minute, where do flutes fit into this all? There's not a piece of wood on them! That goes for piccolos, too. But don't insult the piccolos- they could easily make you deaf.
There's the brass section, which includes all the instruments made out of- you guessed it, brass. Just a note: Saxophones, although shiny and metal-y like trumpets and tubas, are not actually brass instruments. Why not, you say? They've got teeny little pieces of wood called reeds. That's enough to stick them in with the woodwinds. Because tubas are so hard to carry around, they invented a special kind of tuba called the Sousaphone (you know, like John Phillips Sousa? Google him.) . You know what a Sousaphone is- it's that tuba that wraps around you and looks ridiculous. You probably don't know what a euphonium is, though. A euphonium, also called a baritone, is basically a teeny tuba. Although it's not all that teeny, and it does get heavy because you have to hold it like a trumpet. Ever tried to march a French horn? They're kind of weird, what with all that brass spaghetti in the center. That's why they invented the mellophone, which is basically a French horn twisted up in a different way to be more portable. They don't cut anyone any slack.
There's the percussion section (drums and other things you beat with sticks), which, in the lovely world of marching band, is split into two sections.
1) Drumline. Ever seen that movie? Yeah. Basically the most portable percussions- snares, cymbals, bass drums... Oh, yes. Bass drums (the huge ones) are portable. You just get some shoulder straps and- BOOM. Portable bass. Just don't fall over. The drumline is generally extremely loud, and it sometimes hacks off the rest of the band because they have to play louder to be heard.
2) Pit. Ever tried to march with a xylophone? They get pretty big, and even with wheels, they don't move easily. Hence the traffic jam when the percussion tries to move those things through doors. Basically, anything that's too big or too hard to march with gets lined up on the sidelines and played there. This can include xylophones, marimbas, string basses, and sometimes pianos.
The marching band season (which is pretty much just football season in disguise) usually starts before the actual school year- that's right, during summer vacation. That's when band camp happens. Band camp is a good time to teach the rookies how to march. It's also a good time to un-lazy the veterans and remind them how to march.
Bands march using the football field's yard lines and hashes as guides. The yard lines are fifteen feet apart, and there are two hashes on each line, cutting them into three pieces. Band members must magically know how big of a step to take to get to each position without looking at any of the painted lines. There's a way to do this: it's called weeks and weeks of repetitive practice.
And what about those uniforms? I think that's one of the biggest reasons band geeks get picked on. Truthfully, they can look nerdy sometimes. But uniforms are big deals. Band kids learn to be very, very careful with them because there's a team of elite band moms who will come down on them if they don't. The Uniform Committee doesn't like it when the uniforms get dirty or ripped up. They often don't let the kids touch the plumes that go in their hats. (Plumes are feathers, by the way.) They're scary. The uniforms themselves vary from band to band, but usually consist of shoes, pants, jackets, gloves, and hats of some kind. Drum majors can get special uniforms because they're special. But aren't we all?
Marching bands are good for all kinds of things! Like halftime! And parades! And pep rallies! And competitions! And showing off! And getting out of gym! And... probably for taking over the world.
Oh, and for learning discipline, too. Before learning to march, one must learn to stand completely still without moving at all. This is called standing at attention. That means chins slightly raised; shoulders back, down, and relaxed; elbows bent slightly (just slightly! no chicken wings!); feet together, and knees bent ever so slightly, just enough so that they don't lock. Oh, that brings me to a good point:
DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES.
If you lock your knees, your blood won't be able to get through them, and 9 times out of 10 you'll pass out.
DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES. DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES. DON'T LOCK YOUR KNEES!
Another common band position is horns up- that's just when the band puts their instruments up to their faces so they can play.
There is no talking or moving allowed in either of these positions. Your head itches? Too bad. There's a spider crawling up your leg? Hope it's not poisonous. You've really got to pee? Hold it. And do. not. talk. That will bring the wrath of the drum majors and directors down on you.
So, that's marching band in a rather large nutshell! Go cheer for your high school marching band at the next game!
I remain, gentlebloggers, your obedient servant,
Commodore Scribbles
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